Category Archives: Quotes


The New IQ Life Makeover: Your Guide to 3D Living

Words of Wisdom & Other Useful Reminders

I was only trying to live in accord with the promptings that came from my deepest self. Why was that so very difficult?
– Hermann Hesse

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
– Howard Thurman

The purpose of integrated adult development is to expand the extent to which we experience deep inner fulfillment, love and wisdom.
– Dr. David Gruder

“It is certainly true that every day we don’t strive to live authentically we do pay a price, with compounded interest… It is a mistake to accept as our reality, the illusion that many are called but few are chosen.”
– Sara Breathnach

Effective and consistent Connection, both when a child is in joy and when s/he is expressing his/her gifts, reinforces the gold in him/her.
– Dr. David Gruder

God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won’t.
– Alfred Korzybski

The secret to learning is great discerning.” 
– Dr. David Gruder

I am my best person when I have less on my plate.
– Elisabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love

Effective and consistent Connection during difficult life experiences teaches us as children to be unafraid of life experiences or of our interior reactions to them.
– Dr. David Gruder

As children, we develop the capacity to connect with our spiritual resources and ourselves only to the extent that others connect with us.
– Dr. David Gruder

You can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.
– Rwandan Proverb

Survival needs to be a higher priority during childhood than living in integrity.
– Dr. David Gruder

Each moment of our life, from the moment we are born to the moment we die, is a teachable moment. The only question in each moment is, “What will we learn?
– Dr. David Gruder

Turn your wounds into wisdom.
– Oprah Winfrey

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
– Marianne Williamson

As children, we do our best to cloak whichever caregivers are the most important to us in the psychological equivalent of gorgeous and majestic robes.
 – Dr. David Gruder

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor and catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
– Mark Twain

Creating a happy ending fantasy for the sake of your childhood survival was a marvelous thing. Your challenge as an adult is to outgrow your need for such a fantasy. 
– Dr. David Gruder

Of all the earthly music, that which reaches farthest into heaven is the beating of a truly loving heart.
– Henry Ward Beecher

“The amount of closeness you desire determines the amount of healing you require.”
– Dr. David Gruder

“It is a mistake to accept as our reality the illusion that many are called but few are chosen.”
– Sara Breathnach

A transformation chapter is a period of intensive focus on inner work.” 
– Dr. David Gruder

What Others Say About This Material

Words of Praise for The New IQ (Integrity Intelligence)

“Bold, earnest and heartfelt…”
—Roshan R. Billimoria, Former Chair of the
U.N. Executive Committee of Non-Governmental Organizations 

“Leaders need an integrity check-up and Dr. David Gruder is just the man to do it. Too many well-meaning leaders haven’t made the connection between their personal and relationship development and their effectiveness in the collective arena. Dr. Gruder’s simple yet powerful integrity model provides a much-needed shot in the arm.”
—Ken Blanchard, Co-author of The One Minute Manager 

“Any human resources executive in the role of being the organization’s moral compass or ‘canary in the coal mine’ should make this a must read, among the more standard business literature.”
—Victoria Berger-Gross, Senior Vice President, Tiffany & Co.

The New IQ brings clarity to the complexities of personal development that is not available from any other source. Dr. Gruder’s disciplined, transparent organization of factors that both expand and impinge upon a personally satisfying and productive life, combined with his wide-ranging international personal and professional experience, has created an excellent step-by-step guide for finding one’s own formula for a complete, confident and productive life. Because so many of today’s global leaders are creating devastating results due to their lack of synergy and collaboration skills, I particularly appreciate and applaud how Dr. Gruder applies those qualities and skills to international politics. The New IQ is a most excellent and important read, both for today’s leaders and the leaders of tomorrow.”
—Mort Mondale,National Educational Association, Professional Development Specialist Emeritus 

“Profound, yet incredibly easy to read and digest — I could barely put it down. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if ‘Dr. David Gruder’ became a household name as the person who spearheaded a massive transition and transformation in our individual, relational and societal integrity and wholeness.”
—Constance Wells, Ph.D., Senior Vice President, Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures 

“Our dreams are attainable. The New IQ is easily the clearest roadmap for anyone to put one foot in front of the other in the marathon of living closer to our ideals and vision in the raw reality of our day-to-day existence.”
—Paula Newby-Fraser, Eight-time Ironman Triathlon World Champion 

The New IQ goes beyond the usual self-understanding or self-help book by showing the individual how to function with integrity not only in her or his immediate surroundings, but, as well, as a contributing part of the larger society.”
—Robert L. Hilliard, Ph.D., Former Chief of Public Broadcasting, Federal Communications Commission 

“A must read for leaders in any area of life, from little league coaches to chairmen of the board, to use as a tool to raise the bar of personal, relationship and leadership integrity.”
—Peter Lambrou, Ph.D., Vice Chair of Psychology, Scripps Memorial Hospital 

“What a great contribution to humanity this book is!”
—Kenneth Foster, CEO, Shared Vision Network, Author of Ask and You Will Succeed 

“The Integrity Quotient may be the single most important measurement we can make.”
—Martin L. Rossman, M.D., Founder 

“David surprises with starting, rightly, with self, where integrity all begins. In ever-expanding spheres of influence, David becomes your personal docent for understanding and improving integrity with yourself and others in your personal and professional life. By the time you finish digesting The New IQ you too will begin to change the world — starting with you!”
—Dr. Paul Hersey, Co-developer (with Ken Blanchard) of  Situational Leadership 

“Sets a new milestone for dealing with societal and interpersonal problems.”
—Donald A. Eisner Ph.D., President, Eisner Institute for Professional Studies

“Provides a powerful passageway that individuals and the collective can take to restore integrity, harkening a new way of sweeping contribution in the world.”
—Barry Heermann, Author of Building Team Spirit

“A wonderful and workable model for building healthier lives at home, in our workplaces and schools, and throughout our communities. All of us would be well served to integrate The New IQ into all aspects of our lives, especially organizational leaders. A must read!”
—Russell Davis, Esq., Founding Partner, 

“I will expose the business leaders I work with to the Seven WisePassions described in The New IQ so they can integrate these principles into their way of being — and leading — in the world.”
—Thomas G. Crane, Author of The Heart of Coaching

“Timely and provocative, touching on the underpinnings of a world in change: both our inner worlds and our outer worlds, and teaching us how to become sustainable human beings while at the same time sustaining our planet!”
—Jeanne House, President, SOL Communication 

The New IQ organizes the many steps in personal, relationship and leadership development into a unified whole, explaining how they fit into a grand developmental scheme. David’s insights may result in him one day being regarded as ‘The Sigmund Freud of the twenty-first century.’”
—Dawson Church, Ph.D., Author of The Genie in Your Genes 

“The book of the decade! This long-overdue system for dealing with all of today’s hugely damaging social and political issues through upgrading our understanding of integrity offers the gold it would otherwise take ten other books to reveal.”
—C. Norman Shealy, MD, Ph.D., Founding President, American Holistic Medical Association

“The instruction manual for life that we all wish came with.”
—Dana Ansell, Director of Honesty, A Way of Life 

“A vital contribution as our culture tries to find its way back to a sustainable course.”
—David Feinstein, Ph.D. and Donna Eden, Co-authors, Energy Medicine and The Promise of Energy Psychology 

“The New IQ may well set the standard for a huge transformation in our beleaguered world.”
—Sharon Cass Toole, Ph.D., CEO, Meridian Seminars

“A most valuable book for our time, giving us insightful ways to reconsider our values, see how they have been out of balance, and what we can do about it.”
—Henry Grayson, Ph.D., Founder and Chairman, National Institute for the Psychotherapies 

“What a remarkable book for each and every one of us! A dynamic blueprint for change written with ease and simplicity. Turns a very complex subject into a dynamic hands-on learning experience. It is hard to put this book down – you just want to keep on reading!”
—Bala Jaison, Ph.D., Author of Integrating Experiential and Brief Therapy 

“Exceptional and very timely…a profound education in being an authentic human.”
—William Tiller, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, Stanford University

“A landmark contribution…”
—Margaret Moore, Founder & CEO, Wellcoaches Corporation  

“The 21st Century’s first sensible, down-to-earth and comprehensive guide for integrity-based adult development during perilous times, The New IQ needs to become a key book for all patients in any kind of mind-body treatment program.”
—Jude Gladstone Cade, Ph.D., Director, Sanoviv Medical Institute 

“If you are a physician or other helping professional, place The New IQ at the top of your recommendations list for both patients and colleagues.”
—Bruno Cortis, M.D., Author of Heart & Soul 

“David walks the talk and is ‘the change he wishes to see in the world.’ Integrity shines through every written word. If you too want to learn how to be ‘the change you wish to see in the world,’ this book is for you. It will also become a must have in every coach’s toolbox.”
—Sarah Bird, C.EHP, Certified Conflict Resolution Coach 

“A powerful guide for restoring and upgrading integrity, this timely book deserves to have a deep positive impact on our collective lives.”
—Rusty Wells (deceased), Professional Coach 

“Profound, well written, and easy to follow, this cornerstone for the advancement of society, regardless of racial, social political or religious identity propels us toward a more responsible, caring and higher consciousness society. A must-read book for all.”
—Maria Becker, M.D., Author of Awareness, Acceptance and Transformation 

“A profound roadmap for healing the blocks to living a life of joy and integrity.”
—Margaret Paul, Ph.D., Author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You

“Thoughtful and provocative, this book proposes wise and insightful ways to understand our personal, relational and societal problems and innovative ways we can address them as individuals and as a global community.”
—Daniel J. Benor, M.D., Author of Personal Spirituality 

“This seminal, practical work leads us beyond understanding ourselves and our personal relationships to grasping the vital role we have in leading with integrity to create an upshift in our collective consciousness. The depth and originality of the Seven WisePassions Dr. Gruder describes, how they build upon each other, and the wisdom of linking integrity to these key life skills, is a great gift to all of us. The New IQ is required reading for all who care about human life, even survival, in this 21st century.”
—Dorothea Hover-Kramer, Ed.D., Author of Seven Books on Energy Healing 

“Take this exceptional, heart-warming, engaging and practical guide home and start reading it! You’ll be so grateful you did!”
—Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., Core Faculty, Santa Barbara Graduate Institute 

“If you only read one book this year about your own development as a truly three-dimensional human being, this is the one!”
—George J. Pratt, Ph.D., Chairman, Psychology, Scripps Memorial Hospital 

“A smart, thoughtful, well-written resource for developing and sustaining integrity, with practical applications and clear direction for the reader…a sorely needed book in these morally and ethically ambiguous times.”
—Belleruth Naparstek, Author of Invisible Heroes

“You can read 10 self-help books or you can read The New IQ, which is much more than a self-help book. This compassionate guidebook is full of practical wisdom for becoming complete human beings.”
—Larry Stoler, Ph.D.,  President, Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology 

“A very deep and broad book, The New IQ is for people from all walks of life. It illuminates the human condition with unusual clarity and offers a wonderfully accessible and easily applied road map for living. Provides an excellent template for therapists and their clients to use. This book receives my highest recommendation.”
—Nicolee Jikyo McMahon, Head Teacher at the Three Treasures Zen Community and Marriage and Family Therapist 

“This important book needs to be on everyone’s bookshelf!”
—Peggy McColl, Author of Your Destiny Switch 

“The world’s first complete step-by-step guide to developing integrity. Integrates the worlds of personal, relationship and leadership development more tightly, compellingly and practically than any other book has ever done. A must read for anyone that wants to make a difference.”
—Robert Schwarz, Psy.D., Author of Tools for Transforming Trauma 

“A practical handbook by a pragmatic visionary, Dr. Gruder offers in The New IQ a powerful lens that reframes many of the problems that vex us today, from our most intimate personal relationships to the international issues that now plague humankind, casting them in a light that makes creating more useful breakthroughs possible.”
—Robert W. Fuller, Ph.D., Former President of Oberlin College, co-founder of The Hunger Project 

The New IQ helps all of us move toward more responsible leadership through painting a brilliant, well written and well-organized portrait of integrity development in these difficult times. We are recommending it to our readers, colleagues and friends.”
—Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone, developers of Voice Dialogue Therapy 

“For the sake of your personal joy, your relationships with others, and for the future of humanity as a whole, read The New IQ. This gift of clarity, insight, accountability and hope is one of the best roadmaps to personal fulfillment I have had the pleasure of reading.”
—Ruth Larson, M.D., former Governing Board Trustee, Palomar College 

The New IQ is a very skillful guide for actualizing our potential as true human beings. It shows everyday people, helping professionals, and leaders from all walks of life how to clearly and practically develop integrity in our personal, relationship, career and service lives. I highly recommend this great book.”
—Roshi Dennis Genpo Merzel, Developer of Big Mind process

The New IQ is right on target! If policy makers and leaders from both the developed and developing world took Gruder’s words of wisdom to heart, we would see less political game playing and rhetoric on the international stage and a real movement towards fulfilling the human rights and dignity of vulnerable populations in our world.”
—Aileen Kwa, Co-author of Behind the Scenes at the World Trade Organization

“Principle centered and value driven, The New IQ is an effective guide for living an aware, authentic, and accountable life and a great contribution to co-creating a better world for individuals, groups, companies and nations.”
—Eric Allenbaugh, Ph.D., Author of Deliberate Success 

“This is truly a ground-breaking work to be savored by everyone! Dr. David Gruder offers an enlightening aerial view for charting an exact course to integrity, authenticity, and fulfillment. This map and these tools will help to positively transform your life, your relationships, your organizations, and the world.”
—Fred P. Gallo, Ph.D., Author of Energy Psychology